Sometimes, when I blog, I have this sudden urge to hurl my computer out the window. Mostly this is due to frustration at having no idea what to write about, but sometimes it's because the noise level outside is so infuriatingly unnecessary that I think it warrants my going crazy and hurling something out the window.
But that's just me.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Adios, Facebook
I made what turned out to be a difficult decision. It was the kind of decision you struggle with, the kind that rolls around in your mind like a stone. You try to figure out the implications, to determine if your life will be better - or worse - because of it.
I decided to leave Facebook.
I am embarrassed to admit I truly and honestly struggled with this decision. It's Facebook, for Christ's sake. But, for weeks while I toiled, I gave myself heartburn thinking about it. Could I possibly live without it? Would my "friends" think I've abandoned them? How would I keep my hand from reaching for my phone every time I had an extra second to spare? How would I express myself? When seeing something unjust or idiotic, who would I tell?
"Dear woman who cut me off on the freeway: I hope you crash."
"John Mayer is a douche."
"I had a dream last night that I went to the movies with Dylan McDermott. We saw 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.' He wore fishnets and I wore gold briefs. What could it mean?"
I wish I could say leaving Facebook is due strictly to being a waste of time. There's more to it than that. Not only is it addictive, but it can give one a skewed, unnatural disposition. I've often relegated myself to the bottom of many totem poles because, inwardly, I feel like a failure. I should, in no way, feel like this. But at nearly 38 years old my accomplishments are few.
At least this is the way Facebook makes me feel.
How do I resolve myself of this? Can't I just grow up? I'm smart, funny, healthy. I have a good job. I live in a nice apartment. I have a handsome, charming partner of 13 years. By proxy I have a brand new grand daughter (yes, grand daughter - see "Parental Guidance Suggested" post). I have an amazing family. I've been writing more now than I ever have, with the goal of publication.
What is it about Facebook that makes me feel so God damned inferior?
Well, by all accounts so far, my Facebook "friends" have led me - inadvertently, of course - to believe I can be smarter, funnier, and healthier. Rather than a good job, I could have a great job. I could be living in a new house, as opposed to my apartment. Others' significant others appear to be more handsome, and more charming than mine. Others' grandchildren come off as stratospherically amazing, at least this is how they're portrayed. Writer buddies are publishing books and stories, whereas I'm merely writing mine. It's a vicious conundrum, one I am happy to avoid.
But again the question: Sean, aren't you just being petty?
Perhaps. But what I know is this: Facebook is depressing. It is filled with negativity, gossip, arguments, and selfishness. I'm not trying to rationalize my belief in this because I know, sadly, I will probably be drawn to it once again. In fact, I know this. The goal at this point is to see if I can live without it for a month, and so far I'm successful. My writing has progressed. My overall view on life has taken a turn, mainly because I'm not inundated with pictures of abused animals and natural disasters, being told I'm an awful person if I don't "share" or "repost."
It unnerves me that a life can be so completely enveloped by something so superficial and needless. It unnerves me even more that I had to struggle with the decision to abandon it.
Well, hey, there's always Twitter.
I decided to leave Facebook.
I am embarrassed to admit I truly and honestly struggled with this decision. It's Facebook, for Christ's sake. But, for weeks while I toiled, I gave myself heartburn thinking about it. Could I possibly live without it? Would my "friends" think I've abandoned them? How would I keep my hand from reaching for my phone every time I had an extra second to spare? How would I express myself? When seeing something unjust or idiotic, who would I tell?
"Dear woman who cut me off on the freeway: I hope you crash."
"John Mayer is a douche."
"I had a dream last night that I went to the movies with Dylan McDermott. We saw 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.' He wore fishnets and I wore gold briefs. What could it mean?"
I wish I could say leaving Facebook is due strictly to being a waste of time. There's more to it than that. Not only is it addictive, but it can give one a skewed, unnatural disposition. I've often relegated myself to the bottom of many totem poles because, inwardly, I feel like a failure. I should, in no way, feel like this. But at nearly 38 years old my accomplishments are few.
At least this is the way Facebook makes me feel.
How do I resolve myself of this? Can't I just grow up? I'm smart, funny, healthy. I have a good job. I live in a nice apartment. I have a handsome, charming partner of 13 years. By proxy I have a brand new grand daughter (yes, grand daughter - see "Parental Guidance Suggested" post). I have an amazing family. I've been writing more now than I ever have, with the goal of publication.
What is it about Facebook that makes me feel so God damned inferior?
Well, by all accounts so far, my Facebook "friends" have led me - inadvertently, of course - to believe I can be smarter, funnier, and healthier. Rather than a good job, I could have a great job. I could be living in a new house, as opposed to my apartment. Others' significant others appear to be more handsome, and more charming than mine. Others' grandchildren come off as stratospherically amazing, at least this is how they're portrayed. Writer buddies are publishing books and stories, whereas I'm merely writing mine. It's a vicious conundrum, one I am happy to avoid.
But again the question: Sean, aren't you just being petty?
Perhaps. But what I know is this: Facebook is depressing. It is filled with negativity, gossip, arguments, and selfishness. I'm not trying to rationalize my belief in this because I know, sadly, I will probably be drawn to it once again. In fact, I know this. The goal at this point is to see if I can live without it for a month, and so far I'm successful. My writing has progressed. My overall view on life has taken a turn, mainly because I'm not inundated with pictures of abused animals and natural disasters, being told I'm an awful person if I don't "share" or "repost."
It unnerves me that a life can be so completely enveloped by something so superficial and needless. It unnerves me even more that I had to struggle with the decision to abandon it.
Well, hey, there's always Twitter.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
80s Flashback!!
I'm an 80s kid. I was born in 1975, and though the early 80s aren't as vivid as the late 80s, I still consider them part of my personal history. The music that erupted from that excessive decade was fabulous, fast, and fantastic. I was considering a post on writing, but why not a visit back through the decade that brought us shoulder pads, Pac-Man, jelly shoes, E.T. and The Golden Girls?
Here is a year each from the 80s and one song/band/artists I equate most with that year. Maybe you'll agree!
1980
"Magic" - Olivia Newton John
This song is catchy, and Olivia has a beautiful voice. I remember it fondly, but I didn't have a an appreciation for it until years later. It's on my iPod, for goodness' sake.
1981
"9 to 5" - Dolly Parton
Not only is this one of my favorite songs from when I was a kid, but the movie, to this day, is one I will sit and watch when it's on the tube.
1982
"Mickey" - Tony Basil
That beat, those words, catchy as all hell. "Oh Micky, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, HEY MICKEY!"
1983
"Love is a Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Oh, Pat! I've always loved Pat Benatar. This song is an anthem to the 80s! I saw Pat in 2009 and she was AMAZING. Her voice was just as strong at 60 as it was at 30!
1984
"When Doves Cry" - Prince
This song reminds me of my sister. She was the biggest Prince fan. Remember that hat he wears at the end of the video, with the lace streaming off the front of it? She made one just like it. For that I will always remember this song
1985
"Get Into the Groove" - Madonna
Madonna. 1985. Need I say more?
1986
"Notorious" - Duran Duran
I know, you'd think I'd have D2 earlier in the list, but this is when I really got into them. I got this vinyl record for Christmas that year. And a new stereo to play it on! I was in heaven.
1987
"Alone" - Heart
"Livin' On A Prayer" - Bon Jovi
"I Get Weak" - Belinda Carlisle
I couldn't do it, I couldn't pick just one. This is when music really started to make an impact on my life. Heart, their voices. Bon Jovi and their frosted perms. Belinda, ex Go-Go. Sigh.
1988
Anything by Def Leppard
1988 was the year for Def Leppard. They were everywhere. "Hysteria" was the biggest album that year, spawning 7 singles. My favorites? "Animal" and "Women." Good stuff!
1989
"Youth Gone Wild" - Skid Row
And this is it, ladies and gentlemen, when my life took a sharp left turn into Hairbandville! Skid Row, what can I say. They essentially started that craze for me. I look back on it with fond memories.
Here is a year each from the 80s and one song/band/artists I equate most with that year. Maybe you'll agree!
1980
"Magic" - Olivia Newton John
This song is catchy, and Olivia has a beautiful voice. I remember it fondly, but I didn't have a an appreciation for it until years later. It's on my iPod, for goodness' sake.
1981
"9 to 5" - Dolly Parton
Not only is this one of my favorite songs from when I was a kid, but the movie, to this day, is one I will sit and watch when it's on the tube.
1982
"Mickey" - Tony Basil
That beat, those words, catchy as all hell. "Oh Micky, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, HEY MICKEY!"
1983
"Love is a Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
Oh, Pat! I've always loved Pat Benatar. This song is an anthem to the 80s! I saw Pat in 2009 and she was AMAZING. Her voice was just as strong at 60 as it was at 30!1984
"When Doves Cry" - Prince
This song reminds me of my sister. She was the biggest Prince fan. Remember that hat he wears at the end of the video, with the lace streaming off the front of it? She made one just like it. For that I will always remember this song
1985
"Get Into the Groove" - Madonna
Madonna. 1985. Need I say more?1986
"Notorious" - Duran Duran
I know, you'd think I'd have D2 earlier in the list, but this is when I really got into them. I got this vinyl record for Christmas that year. And a new stereo to play it on! I was in heaven.
1987"Alone" - Heart
"Livin' On A Prayer" - Bon Jovi
"I Get Weak" - Belinda Carlisle
I couldn't do it, I couldn't pick just one. This is when music really started to make an impact on my life. Heart, their voices. Bon Jovi and their frosted perms. Belinda, ex Go-Go. Sigh.
1988
Anything by Def Leppard
1988 was the year for Def Leppard. They were everywhere. "Hysteria" was the biggest album that year, spawning 7 singles. My favorites? "Animal" and "Women." Good stuff!1989
"Youth Gone Wild" - Skid Row
And this is it, ladies and gentlemen, when my life took a sharp left turn into Hairbandville! Skid Row, what can I say. They essentially started that craze for me. I look back on it with fond memories.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Cold Spell
It is a beautiful evening here in southern California. Gorgeous. The air is still and cool. The sun has set, leaving the sky a breathy shade of purple.
We recently experienced a nasty cold spell, at least for the southwest. The nights dipped near twenty degrees, enough to leave frost on the grass. Seriously, in the morning it looked as if it had snowed. This isn't normal for us, not in the slightest. But, being a fair-skinned, Irish-blooded cry baby, I will say here that I would choose an icy winter over a hellish summer any day of the week. I'd much rather bundle up and peel off the layers as the day progresses than lay around naked, sticky and miserable. And what's better than cozying up under the covers, pulling the blankets close, and nestling into the pillows on a frosty morning?
It's a shame that I live in southern California. It's wasted on me. Sunshine is poison. The beach might as well be a plague. Tans are reserved for humans who carry pigment in their skin, of which I have very little (unless you count my freckles, which might seem charming to a passerby, but are actually a garish punishment). As much as I have grown to love the outdoors, this love has been pessimistically countered with a new allergy to sunscreen. No joke; I'm allergic to sunscreen.
But, I'm left with moments like this one. If I had the gumption, I'd go out for a walk (but there are gangs in the area, and bad drivers, and annoying children). Even as I write this, the still air has come to life with a playful breeze. It's the kind of breeze you can taste, crisp as a salt-rimmed margarita. It gives me the kind of shivers you get when you think of a good memory, or see someone doing a good deed.
The cold spell, I heard, isn't going to last. The temperatures will go up. How awful for us Californians, to live in such amazing weather. Right? For me, though, anything above 70 degrees and I might as well be a green witch with water thrown in her face. A face without sunscreen, mind you. That's ok, at least I have now, this soothing time of the night.
The breeze is really starting to pick up.
We recently experienced a nasty cold spell, at least for the southwest. The nights dipped near twenty degrees, enough to leave frost on the grass. Seriously, in the morning it looked as if it had snowed. This isn't normal for us, not in the slightest. But, being a fair-skinned, Irish-blooded cry baby, I will say here that I would choose an icy winter over a hellish summer any day of the week. I'd much rather bundle up and peel off the layers as the day progresses than lay around naked, sticky and miserable. And what's better than cozying up under the covers, pulling the blankets close, and nestling into the pillows on a frosty morning?
It's a shame that I live in southern California. It's wasted on me. Sunshine is poison. The beach might as well be a plague. Tans are reserved for humans who carry pigment in their skin, of which I have very little (unless you count my freckles, which might seem charming to a passerby, but are actually a garish punishment). As much as I have grown to love the outdoors, this love has been pessimistically countered with a new allergy to sunscreen. No joke; I'm allergic to sunscreen.
But, I'm left with moments like this one. If I had the gumption, I'd go out for a walk (but there are gangs in the area, and bad drivers, and annoying children). Even as I write this, the still air has come to life with a playful breeze. It's the kind of breeze you can taste, crisp as a salt-rimmed margarita. It gives me the kind of shivers you get when you think of a good memory, or see someone doing a good deed.
The cold spell, I heard, isn't going to last. The temperatures will go up. How awful for us Californians, to live in such amazing weather. Right? For me, though, anything above 70 degrees and I might as well be a green witch with water thrown in her face. A face without sunscreen, mind you. That's ok, at least I have now, this soothing time of the night.
The breeze is really starting to pick up.
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